Tuesday, January 4, 2011

The Hut affect

The conversations at low end restaurants always present my favorite comedic material.  Did I ever tell you about the 14 cheeseburgers?  I will have to check on that one and tell you if I have not.  This story stems from a Pizza Hut. 

We happened to be in the mood for pizza the other night and after disappointingly finding our favorite joint a few towns over has either moved or closed we opted for The Hut.  The Hut, as advertised, has simplified their menu.  Their medium three topping pizzas are $8.  Their large three topping pizzas are $10.  According to the menu the stuffed crust pizza can be added for an additional $2.  Honestly this is great deal.  Competitively/comparatively speaking Papa Johns, who makes a darn good pizza pie, runs $10 specialty pizzas during big football up and comings.  Their ads are all over the web.  When Papa's runs the $10 special we usually buy two, one for the kids and one for us older kids.  The left overs from the larges usually gives us lunch the next day.  Our thought was we would give the Hut a whirl and see how their pizza pie compared taste wise.

Here we were sitting in The Hut feeling pretty confident about buying two medium three topping pizza's for $16.  We did not want left overs if it was not any good.  If we liked it we would know for next time.  While placing our order, we had found the wait staff to be friendly.  But then came in the next family sitting directly behind us.  I did not see them but could hear them.  They sounded about as normal as my family.  Two adults and two kids.

Keeping in mind the menu above.   When the server returned from taking their drink order, which went off without any altercations, she began the entree order. 
Head of Family: We would like a medium supreme pizza. 
Server: Which crust?
HoF: I think we would like, for $2 more, to have the stuffed crust.
Server: OK.
HoF: We would also like to have another medium with pepperoni, sausage and mushroom pizza for the kids. 
Server: Which crust?
HoF: The stuffed crust on this one too, right honey (addressing either his wife or one of the kids).
Server: Sir, we can't do the stuffed crust on the medium pizza.  The stuffed crust only comes on the large pizza.
HoF: I am sorry?
Server: (audible sigh)  Sir the stuffed crust is only available in a large crust.
HoF: Can you repeat my order as you have it written down?
Server:  Sir you have a medium supreme with a stuffed crust...Sir...you will have to reorder.


HoF: OK...I think I would like a large stuffed crust supreme.
Server: OK.  Anything else?
HoF: Yeees...I would also like a medium pepperoni sausage and mushroom pizza. (I am loving this man's patience) Ma'am tell me again.  Which crust options does the medium come with?
Server: Thin, Hand Tossed, Pan or you can make it a stuffed crust for $2.
HoF: I can make it a stuff crust for $2 more?
Server: Yes.
HoF: Would it still be a medium?
Server: No it would be large.

=) Gold I tell ya.  Abbot and Costello would be writing this material down.
There was silence for about 15 seconds.
HoF: I would like the medium pepperoni, sausage, and mushroom to be a Hand Tossed crust.
Server: Would you like anything else sir?
HoF: No, I think that will be all.

I am trying to catch my wife's eye to see if she is hearing this episode.  I just wanted to ask her via eye language "Did you hear what just happened?"  But she would not look.  Later I found out she had heard went on and thought it was hysterical but was avoiding my eye conversation as it may have lead to bursts of laughter, attention to our table, etc., etc., etc.

Side note: To keep the kids entertained (this advice is better than anything from Dr. Phil or Oprah or that TV Nanny) we played paper football.  We used the strong paper band around the napkin and silverware.  We folded into a triangle.  Remember the game paper football?  You thump the paper toward the edge of the table and if it hangs over the edge its a touchdown?  The girls loved it and it kept them entertained until the pizza arrived.  My youngest and I won 25-7.   We missed a few extra points.

My wife informs us she sees our pizza coming.  Before the server arrives we hear her mumbling about our pizza.
Server:  Sorry about your pizza with the black olives.  The cooks left it in the oven longer than they should have.
Placing blame on others must be in the Hut server handbook probably chapter 1.
Server: We are making you another one at no charge for you to take home.  Taking the credit for making it right must be in the Hut server handbook chapter 2.
Seeing the pizza was fine other than a little burn cheese on the crust I said, Well black olives, as you know, are supposed to be cooked thoroughly kinda like pork.
Server: [blank stare] Sir can I get you some more water?
Me: That would be fine.

I loved the pizza by the way.  It really was good.  Since I had lost an option with Hungry Howards', I will probably order from the Hut again soon.  No - I still have not ordered from Hungry "Howard's".

Sure the higher end restaurants have better service and food.  But their servers are so professional and good at what they do you hardly notice them.  Save a few bucks every now and then to go out on the cheap to experience 'The Hut affect'.  Enjoy noticing your server.  You are bound to come home with more than just leftovers.  Plus you can brush up on your paper football skills. 


SherilinR said...

i like to order my pizza with raisins. or peanuts. it throws off the order-takers.

roughneckturtle/Jeff C. said...

That's gold right there. Thanks for sharing it.

Clipped Wings said...

Fun post to read. Love the title.

Kipp said...

Sherilin - playing with the kids I sometimes order grasshoppers on my pizza...note to self =)

roughneck - give the Hut a whirl about midweek

Clipped - I am humbled, but please lavish me with compliments anytime. ;)

Clipped Wings said...

Thanks for your comment on my post. Came back to read a little more of your posts...love the 'Christmas Lesson'. Might as well start following, as your blog is a pleasure to read.