Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Just asking...

Just asking...

When did it become OK for you to bang your car into a parked car in a parking lot then drive off leaving no contact information?

When did it become OK to leave out words to the Pledge of Allegiance?

When did it become OK to not sing all the words to the Star Spangled Banner?

When did it become OK to drop your kids off at the movie theater as if it were a supervised baby sitting service?

When did it become OK to charge $15.00 for a coke and popcorn at the movies?

When did it become OK to litter in the movie theater but not in the movie theater parking lot?

When did it become OK to skip all the way to the front of the line on the interstate during road construction zones?

When did it become OK to sit at a green light while I watch you prepare or respond to a text message and then see you subsequently flip me off for honking my horn so you will know the light is green?

When did it become OK to stereotype on SNL but not on stage at a comedy club?

When did it become OK for a person to verbally abuse another but not allow the abused time for a rebuttal because you have issued your public cookie cutter prepared apologetic statement just after everybody in the world heard your insult?

When did it become OK to say/show that on TV?

When did it become OK to talk on your cell phone while "sitting" in a restroom stall?

When did it become OK to dress like that?

When did it become OK for me to take something back after 18 or 24 months of use and be given a brand new one because I do not think the picture is as clear as it was in the store when I bought it?

When did it become OK to have no outs in Little League baseball?

When did it become OK for you sit in front of me at a base/basket/football game holding up a home made poster where you spent hours trying to make a coherent collaborating home team sentence out of the capital letters E-S-P-N not allowing me see the field? 

When did it become OK to take every piece of freshly dropped off piping hot large thin crust pepperoni pizza off the buffet table and stack every piece on one plate as you go through the line in front of me?


When did it become OK?

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

I don't do mornings.

EmptyNester has a post about the HEAT in her neck of the woods.  In her post she mentions wanting to smack someone because it is just so freakn HOT.  Which led her to another group of people that need smacking, "singy songy" early bird morning people.  Did she get a witness?  Hello...waving my hand over here!
(Follow the link above to her post)

I can so relate to this feeling.  As long as I can remember when I first wake up, the last thing I want to hear is some bubbly personality telling me how wonderful it is to be up so early; "what a beautiful day it is going to be".  Pretty much anything beyond a grunt or a "mo'ning", I consider to be too much morning joy.  There have been many a morning I have wanted to smack somebody.  My tolerance for such "singy songy" (great description EmptyNester) people does not wear off til about 9:00 AM.  I barely remember the first pot of coffee.

Take for instance the other day as I pulled in the parking lot at work.  It was about 6:40-6:45.  There were a few cars in the parking lot.  Let me digress for a second: We have radio-frequency badges that unlock the doors to our building.  Cool right, I know.  I think they are the best thing since cable TV.  Not only is it cool but you do not have to use a key to open the door, you just have to sort of wave this badge near the card reader and the door unlocks.  (Bond...James Bond).  Another cool feature of the badge is it can be electronically coded to limit entry access of the badge holder.  For example, I have 24/7 access but others only have access from 6:45 AM to 5:30 PM.  All that to say there were some employees in the parking lot waiting until 6:45 to enter the building.

As I exited my vehicle and proceeded to walk just in front of one of the employees sitting in her car with her window rolled down, she laid on the horn.  Most people with a pulse would have jumped out of their skin at this prank; but I really don't do mornings.  So the only reaction she got out of me was the stink eye I gave her as I stopped still in front of her car and pulled down my sunglasses (think Horatio from CSI Miami).  As she cackled about her prank, in my mind I too was cackling.  Because in my mind I had just pulled the trigger on the taser gun and the darts had hit her square in her left shoulder and I was holding down the triggers sending volts and volts of electricity through her horn blowing way too early in the morning for crap like that prankin self.

I do love the smell of a fresh pot of coffee brewing in the morning.