Tuesday, June 21, 2011

I don't do mornings.

EmptyNester has a post about the HEAT in her neck of the woods.  In her post she mentions wanting to smack someone because it is just so freakn HOT.  Which led her to another group of people that need smacking, "singy songy" early bird morning people.  Did she get a witness?  Hello...waving my hand over here!
(Follow the link above to her post)

I can so relate to this feeling.  As long as I can remember when I first wake up, the last thing I want to hear is some bubbly personality telling me how wonderful it is to be up so early; "what a beautiful day it is going to be".  Pretty much anything beyond a grunt or a "mo'ning", I consider to be too much morning joy.  There have been many a morning I have wanted to smack somebody.  My tolerance for such "singy songy" (great description EmptyNester) people does not wear off til about 9:00 AM.  I barely remember the first pot of coffee.

Take for instance the other day as I pulled in the parking lot at work.  It was about 6:40-6:45.  There were a few cars in the parking lot.  Let me digress for a second: We have radio-frequency badges that unlock the doors to our building.  Cool right, I know.  I think they are the best thing since cable TV.  Not only is it cool but you do not have to use a key to open the door, you just have to sort of wave this badge near the card reader and the door unlocks.  (Bond...James Bond).  Another cool feature of the badge is it can be electronically coded to limit entry access of the badge holder.  For example, I have 24/7 access but others only have access from 6:45 AM to 5:30 PM.  All that to say there were some employees in the parking lot waiting until 6:45 to enter the building.

As I exited my vehicle and proceeded to walk just in front of one of the employees sitting in her car with her window rolled down, she laid on the horn.  Most people with a pulse would have jumped out of their skin at this prank; but I really don't do mornings.  So the only reaction she got out of me was the stink eye I gave her as I stopped still in front of her car and pulled down my sunglasses (think Horatio from CSI Miami).  As she cackled about her prank, in my mind I too was cackling.  Because in my mind I had just pulled the trigger on the taser gun and the darts had hit her square in her left shoulder and I was holding down the triggers sending volts and volts of electricity through her horn blowing way too early in the morning for crap like that prankin self.




I do love the smell of a fresh pot of coffee brewing in the morning.  



6 comments:

EmptyNester said...

First, thank you for mentioning me in your post! I'm glad it's not just me!

Second, your idea of the taser is fandamntastic!!! I MUST have one!
Mwahahahahahaha!

Third, your co-worker really should get on her knees and thank her maker that she blew that horn at you and not me---I wouldn't have needed a taser....LOL

Kipp said...

EmptyNester - you are too welcome.
I would love to be licensed to tase. :)

Clipped Wings said...

Oh how I love to watch the sunrise filling the world with a golden hue. I love love love mornings, tweet, tweet, tweet...and no, I've got my eye on you and that taser's coming no where near me any time soon, lol.

Kipp said...

Clipped - the sunset (which I saw to night with KJ (Kipp Jr) was magnificent.
I wonder what the range is on those things... ;)

Scoop said...

When I was younger, chipper morning people were on my list of things I loved somewhere between mosquitoes and stomach flu, but as I approached 40 I found mornings to be the best time to work out, go for a run and get things done before the trigger-happy taser-wielders finished their coffee... Sunsets are beautiful, but sunrise is magic - especially when coupled with the adrenaline rush of dodging taser darts.

Kipp said...

Scoop - your comments makka me laugh out loud. :)
Thanks for visiting - come back as often as you can.