Thursday, November 18, 2010


When my wife and I were dating in college my mode of transportation was a Honda two door sport coupe.  It was a sweet ride.  Some other people, including Honda, called it a Civic three door hatchback.  The Civic was and still is a popular vehicle.  Not sure why they discontinued the hatchback.  Maybe they are planning a big retro comeback.  The best thing about it, other than a total babe magnet, was the gas mileage, the low maintenance cost and its reliability.  Everybody wanted one.

On one particular cool night after work I pulled this sweet ride into her parents driveway with the windows down.  Arriving fairly late and figuring to not stay too long, I decided to leave the windows down.  It never hurt to air out the inside of my sports* car with a nice cool breeze once in a while.  
*(kept all my sports equipment in the back: the golf clubs, softball glove, basketball, football)  

About 30 minutes after arriving, being a school night, I bid my princess a goodnight.  I jumped in my car started it up and headed down the street out of her neighborhood.  The cool air was nice.  Leaving the windows down allowed the night air scent to infiltrated the inside of my car.  I took a big deep breath of the fresh air.  Clearing my mind of a long day.  I became keenly aware of a few other things.  There was no moon out; it was extremely dark.  There were no other cars on the streets; extremely quiet.  Matter of fact, there was no traffic.  Just me, my civic, thoughts of my princess, and the cool air.  That's when I felt a tap on my right shoulder.  

Suddenly thoughts of how stupid I was...why would I leave my windows down and car unlocked late at night!  It would have only taken a minute or two to hand crank the windows back up.  DANG IT!  I am going to die.

I started thinking.  Who could it be?  Her ex-boyfriend?  A real robber?  Why did they pick my car?  Oh, wait, Einstein.  Then I started thinking.  What do I have of value with me?  I still had about $60 from last paycheck in my wallet.  Oh man, my new watch.  Dang it, it is all about to be gone.  Wait what if they want the car?  Oh man, they want this sweet ride.  What if they are about to stab me or shoot me?  I am not going to make it.

Their hand was still on my shoulder.  Yet, they were not making any demands.  They must want me to stop the car.  I was too freighted to look in the rear view mirror.  I took a deep breath and let off the accelerator.  I slowly came to a stop in the middle of the street.  Thinking if the police came by they would investigate why I was stopped in the middle of the street.  If I got shot and thrown out on the street the police may conclude I was car jacked.  I was in shock.

The car finally stopped.  I held my breath.  Waiting for the gun shot or the knife blade in my back.  I decided to make peace with my maker.  I regained my composure after talking with Him.  I finally decided to face my assailant.  As I turn my head to the right, I wanted to face my attacker and their demands.  I wanted to see the evil twisted sinister person who had violated my personal space trying to steal my only possession.  I wanted to go to my grave seeing the face of this thief and murderer.  When I cut my eyes around I looked directly into the cold yellow eyes of a black cat.  Her whiskers tickled my cheek.  She nudged my nose, threw her head toward the windshield and started to purr as if to say, "Hey studmuffin, love the ride. Isn't this a great night?  Where we going?"  

Realizing the worst case scenario at this point would be to startle the cat causing her to freak out, scratch me, giving me cat scratch fever, or biting me giving me rabies; my heart actually started beating again.  I took another deep breath.  The neighbors black cat had entered my car, most likely, in search of the left over quarter pounder box in the back seat.  I did a quick U-turn and took the abducted cat back to the driveway where she had entered my car.  I opened the door let her out and left again.  

Strangely there was a new scent in the car...


Buckskins Rule said...

Once owned a Honda Civic of the same style/vintage. It was given to us with 197K miles on the odometer. Made a great commuter. Sold it or $500 with over 250K on it when we left San Diego.

To the best of my knowledge, I never used it as the getaway vehicle for any pet abductions.

Kipp said...

I got a witness on the sweet ride. 250k miles - sweet. Mine had 145k when I sold it.

BR - I would not wish a feline abduction experience on anyone, but being scared to death (even in your own imagination) once in a while is good for the soul. ;)