I guess it goes without saying that mothers always think the best of their children no matter how we turn out or how old we get. My grandmother thinks the world of her son. My Dad's mom thought he could do no wrong. Ask my aunts if you don't believe me. Not sayin these fellas aren't good fellas but in the eyes of their mothers they are pretty high up on the tower of ivory.
Why am I thinking about this? Well my aforementioned grandmother was recently in the hospital. She had a few injuries that needed tending too after an unexpected fall. I took an extended lunch break to make a visit to see her in hospital. On my way into her room I of course had past a nursing station or two.
Do you ever get the feeling that if you make eye contact with the nurses they may ask you "Where the heck do you think you are going? or "Sir, you aren't allowed back here." I always walk with my head up and eyes forward like I know where I am going. If I get lost, which can happen in an instant in a hospital, I start patting my pockets acting like I forgot something and turn around.
I finally got to the room number mom had given me. I reach the number on the door. You guessed it, it was right by the nursing station.
As I am facing the door, with no name sticker to identify who is supposed to be in the room, knowing the nurses are giving me the evil eye for not asking them for a patient name this thought crosses my mind - a janitor's closet. What if I am about to walk into a janitors closet right in front of the nursing station? No. What I am thinking? My mom would not do that to me, she would not embarrass me in front a group of nurses.
To make things even more awkward, I suddenly remember how my preacher man father tells stories of his more adventurous hospital visits. "You never know what you are going to walk into when you enter a hospital room...even after you knock and somebody says come in!"
Not really wanting to experience a sponge bath or a potty break nor the shame of knocking on the janitors closet another thought hit me. If it was a closet, I could make a comment about the "23-19 code violation of not having a fiberglass door on a janitor's closet". (remember act you are supposed to be there - throw in some code violation jargon and people will leave you alone)
I finally knocked.
Am I the only one that gets the hebee-jeebees at a hospital? Really?
I decided not to enter unless I recognized the voice or the door was opened from the inside. I knocked on the door and waited for a response from my mom or grandmother. I heard mom say, "Come in".
Safely inside the room, I was able to shake off the feeling I was being watched. But once in the room I noticed something odd. There was no hospital bed. Even stranger there was no Nanna. I must have had a strange look on my face. "She just left to get an MRI. I tried to call you but I guess you did not get the call." mom quickly informed me.
After our hello's and an update on Nanna's status, she could not seem to wait to tell me all about how exciting it has been during their day and half stay at the hospital. "It's like a soap opera up here on the 2nd floor."
For example, the gurney men transporting Nanna to and from Xray, Imaging, and other places seemed to be quite the Don Juan Quixote's. According to mom, Nanna seemed to think they were trying to get fresh with her a time or two during her gurney trips. "They were being so friendly and talkative." Mom said the nutritionist seemed to be showing her some special attention. Although I later found out they had failed to bring them dinner the night before. Yeah you might get some special treatment from the staff if they failed to bring you a meal in a hospital. I told mom "you should not worry about all that, maybe they just don't get too many folks on the 2nd floor that can carry on conversation. Maybe these folks are just excited to have people to talk too?" She snapped "I don't think so son."
I told her, "Well I can't see any harm in folks wanting to carry on a conversation. Plus with all the people that come in and out of these rooms all day and all night I do not think you two have anything to worry about. Even so, you are right across from the nursing station. At least it gives you two some entertainment while you are in here."
Mom went on as if I was the one talking non-sense. She explained some more about a few apparent love affairs she had picked up on amongst the staff. Most of it seemed pretty normal to me, especially when you get men and women together in the same place for extended periods of time - they tend to talk to each other.
As my time started wearing short, I told mom to tell Nanna I was sorry I missed her but hopefully she would be out soon and next time I saw her she would home. Mom walked me out of the room into the hall and told me she loved me, thanked me for stopping by, sorry you missed Nanna, she would tell Nanna I stopped by, Nanna would be sorry she missed me, Nanna would be glad you stopped by, you better call her later...You get the idea, she was being a mom. I finally stepped in and gave her a hug and told I had to get going.
As I got about four steps down the hall from her I hear her say this in a bold booming voice, just a guess here but most likely directed at the nursing station, "That's my youngest son. Isn't he good looking?"
Pull the needle across the record. ~~screeeech~~
I did not even turn around. I just kept my head up and kept walking a little quicker than I had arrived. In case you haven't been following along, guess who seems to be generating all the soap opera story lines?!
As if that was not quite embarrassing enough, when I called mom later that evening to check on Nanna she tells me all about what happened after I left. "When you left I told those nurses at the station you were my son. One of them walked up and asked me if you were married. I told her you were; happily married." The lady then said, "Ms. Bedford it's just too bad he's married. I could make that man real happy." Mom started laughing she thought that was soo funny.
Deciding to turn the tide on my mom, I said as serious as I could muster in a low voice "Really? Which one was she, is she still working, is she still there? Maybe I might need to come back up there cause remember I didn't get to see Nanna."
"KIPP BEDFORD YOU MOST CERTAINLY WILL NOT!" in her scolding voice.
Starting to laugh now I said, "I might need to give that nurse a big hug for taking care of you two!" Realizing I was pulling her leg, she laughed, "You will not. Son don't talk like that."
Gotta love our moms. No matter what we do or how old we get...