Wednesday, February 16, 2011

A matter of fact

A buddy of mine let me borrow a real Wii golf game the other day.  I am talking about the real deal, an EA Sports Tiger Woods golf game.  When I got it home I cranked it up with a quick start.  A quick start allows you to jump directly to playing a round of golf without watching any tutorials or reading any instructions.  (For you non-Wii "gamers" the cool part of a Nintendo Wii game is its' interactive controller - you actually swing the controller as if you are using a real golf club)  

Playing Wii golf of any type, Resort Sports Golf or Tiger Woods, cannot replace the real thing but it still takes skill and talent.  I got skills to play a video golf game.  I have played just about every golf game out there.  I play real golf for Pete's sake.  I birdied the first hole.  I was kinda of stoked, I will not lie.  Yes there may have been a fist pump.  But I gotta tell you, just being honest, things went downhill from there.  I over powered a few putts.  After about 9 holes my score was not reflecting my true talent.  My oldest daughter walked into the room and said "Dad can I play?"  "Sure sweetheart this game is more kid friendly anyway." 

Her first nine hole score was about 10 strokes better than the score I posted.  I was trying to give her tips from the mistakes I had made.  She seemed to be capitalizing on the tips very well.  She made a few birdies, a few pars.  She threw in a fist pump or two.  She was feeling pretty good. 

Then my youngest daughter asked to play.  "OK you can play a few holes on the back nine" my oldest told her.  "Hold down this button and swing" were the only instructions she was given.  She played about 3 holes while her sister and I carried on another conversation.  Periodically she was told to aim thisa-way or thata-way (that is 'right' and 'left' for you non-Southern folk).  Finally she said, "I want to start over."  So we turned off the game, cranked it back up and did a quick start on a new course.  

The first hole on this course was a par 3 playing 174 yards.  Her club was a 7 iron.  She pulled the controller back around like a true golfer.  She swung threw fast and held the back swing.   The ball is now in flight toward the green.  The screen changed to a letter box view of the green.  I started talking to the TV.  "Go in!"  She broke her pose and put her hand on her hip.  The ball landed on the green on a path directly toward the hole.  "Go in!"  The ball was tracking right to the cup.  It slowed down just before the cup.  "GO IN!"  The ball disappeared.  The crowd went crazy.  Tiger threw his hand up in the air and gave a raise the roof signal.  I got my hands in the air looking for a high five.  My oldest screams "You got a Hole-in-one!".  I say "Wow Princess you made a hole in one!  You are good at this game. How did you do that?! "
She looks at me with all seriousness.  The crowd is still cheering in the background while the game replays her ace.  She has her head tilted to the side, right hand on her hip, pointing the controller at me with her left hand and says:  "You need to do it like this Dad."  {She swings the controller}  She turned back to me and put a matter of fact bottom lip out and nods confidently, "I will teach you."

I got schooled by a five year old girl...schooled I tell you.  


Photo of dog found at


SherilinR said...

hahaha! my kid kicks my butt on the wii all the time! she even bowls from a different room. she'll run around a corner when it's not her turn, then when her remote dings, she doesn't even come back, she just tosses it from wherever she is & bam, strike!
you need to be most spastic, kipp. jump around while swinging your arms & shrieking some & you'll probably get a better score.

Westsox said...

I will dig into the box of Wii games my children have and see if there may be any more I can pass along to you. I promise to continue to contribute to your education. There is nothing like being educated by a 5 year old. If you are a quick study like me, you will soon retire from competition with the children and move to only competing on the Senior Tour.

Anonymous said...

Aw- that's sweet! I'm sure your girls like playing with Dad too.

Kipp said...

Sherilin - sounds like one needs to be tazed in order to play the Wii well. I will give it a shot.

Westsox - 'Senior Tour'....nice.

PAMO - they l-o-v-e me. :)
I think they are pretty wonderful too.

Mrs. Tuna said...

Damn kids, just a bunch of little show offs.

Kipp said...

Mrs. Tuna - Thanks for visiting!
I don't know how they do it. It must be somesorta of marketing tool. It knows when the kids have the controller. "This will make them want to buy more games", says Mr. Nintendo.

Clipped Wings said...

Well, I missed this post. So very funny. You always write such good stories.

Frances Davis said...

God gave us children just so when we think we know it all. . .we can realize just how much He has to teach us through THEM!

Kipp said...

Clipped - you are very kind. Thanks for the encouragement!

Frances - well said. Thanks for visiting. Come back soon!