Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Foot n Mouth

Funny how my thoughts and words come back to bite me in the butt.  How long has it been since I posted the blog about all you cell phone addicts?  Two, maybe three weeks?  My mouth is getting used to the taste of my foot.
I just found out I am no different than you guys.  I just found out I have a strong attachment my wireless Internet router.  Whether it was a power surge from an afternoon thunderstorm, or a tripped breaker due to the printer, modem, router, lamp, and laptop all plugged into the same outlet I am not really sure.  Whatever caused the tragedy, my wireless router went offline today.  
Follow me down the home entertain trail for a minute.  First their was TV.  It had a dial on the TV that had to be turned to change the channel.  In case some of you younger folks did not catch that, you had to stand at the TV to turn a dial to change the channel.  You may be surprised to know that even today their are buttons on the TV itself to change the channels.  Then came the remote control.  No more getting up off the couch to turn the channel or call your youngest son into the room to turn the channel.  One could just use their thumb to change from channel 3 to 5.  

Another example is the telephone.  First it was a telephone in our homes.  It had a cord that only allowed you get about six feet away from the wall it was attached too. Then it was the cordless phone.  Being able to walk around the house leash free was the ultimate phone experience.  

Then came the Internet.  Its first form was called dial up. The most annoying noise in the world would take place for about thirty seconds as you dialed up.  Get this, some of you have already forgotten, you were charged by the minute to access the Internet.  Yes it was a long long long time ago.  Then every body's favorite three words arrived, high speed Internet.  It was now unlimited minutes for Internet access for one low monthly fee.  You could spend as much time as you wanted surfing the Internet.  But even those three favorite words have been upgraded.  Now we have free high speed wireless Internet!  We have come a long way baby.

All that brief home entertainment history to say, with a bit of laziness, not much effort, and even less ambition, the level of couch potato status one can reach with a laptop and wireless Internet is absolutely slothful.  We are a spoiled ruin people. With no wireless Internet, I went from a normal human to a work driven, brain functioning, Internet support technician in about five minutes flat.  

When a man's comfort level is threatened there is serious panic.  I looked for support from my spouse.  Honey just so you know we might be without the wireless Internet for a day or two.   "OK"  OK?...the poor woman was in shock.  I had to fix the router.  I found some notes my IT buddy "Wheels" had left me when we set up the router.  I muddled my way through the notes and within an hour or so I had my wireless Internet back up.  I heard "You da man!"  As a calm settled over me, I started thinking about just how heroic it was of me to get the wireless back up and running.  My kids wanted to know who I was talking too.  I informed my wife the wireless was back up.  She must have still been recovering from her episode.  All she could muster was "OK." 

All you cell phone users are laughing at me aren't you?  Well all I got to say is I am a high speed wireless Internet addict just like you.  I admit it and hope you will accept me into the group.  But by the way, I fixed mine without having to cancel a contract and set up a new plan under a new cellphone provider.

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