One of those ah-ha moments when you find out you are not the only one.
At a recent family gathering my cousin Dane-O, my brother Lord Knobhead and I were standing around visiting. Suddenly Dane-O is digging in his wallet for a business card to give his email to a friend of the family. I stick my hand out toward him. "Hey give me some money while you got that out."
He tells me, since I have been married this wallet only holds credit cards, business cards, licenses, and receipts. It does NOT know what cash is.
I was like "seriously". Not in the you are such a sissy way of 'seriously', but a 'seriously' I thought I was the only married man that did not ever see cash in my wallet 'seriously'.
Then Lord Knobhead pipes up, I freaked out one time when I opened my wallet and saw two twenties in my wallet. I called my wife to find out why I had cash. She told me she thought I might need some because I was taking the kids to a church youth function. He got off the phone and thought "Well Sha-zam! I ain't spending this on the kids, I am saving this cash for me!" He then pulled out his wallet and opened it; there was no cash in it. Yeah that was about 5 years ago. Hasn't been any cash in there since.
I puffed up my chest and pulled out my wallet real slow like so they would be watching. Guys prepared to be impressed. I opened my wallet and showed them $11. Wow when did your wife give you that, asked Dane-O. Boys I got this from my daughter. I bought her something the other day with a credit card and she paid me back in cash. My kids have more money than I do. I told her to keep her money, but she apparently put it in my wallet one night. Although this looks like its my cash, I am really just holding it until she needs it back. I appreciate your temporary respect for me when ya'll saw that cash, but I have to come clean and let you know even though it is in my wallet it is still isn't my cash.
Dane-O started laughing, not the laughing at me laugh but the hey its my turn to tell a story laugh. He told us about the time he opened his wallet and spotted two twenties. I did the same thing you did Lord Knobhead, I called my wife when I spotted the cash. I was freaked out I had cash. I knew I had not put it there. Honey why do I have cash in my wallet? Well...what...wait, the last time I put cash in your wallet was for the boy scout trip you took about six months ago. You still have that?! I had $40 in my wallet for over six months before I knew it was in there. I was so excited about having cash, I ended up spending it all that day. :-)
I have told this story at least a half a dozen times recently. I have been astonished to find out how many a married man pulls out his wallet with a frown on his face to show me an empty wallet. One even told of having to secretly roll change to have some fun money for coffee or a chicken finger lunch. Even heard a comedian this week talking about this subject. He had a friend that his wife gave him $60 weekly allowance, the ultimate punchline to his weekly fortune was - she was cheating on him. The allowance was a distraction.
Surely there is a lesson here to be told or understood; maybe we have uncovered the secret to a successful marriage...nah, that would be just ridiculous.