Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Name that dog

First of all me and caffeine no longer mix.  I had caffeinated tea for lunch and an afternoon cup of Java.  I am now writing a blog post after midnight.  And what is it that had me up having to blog?  My sister in law asked me to help name their new dog.  It is a male Labrador puppy.

Suddenly I have all these names in my head.  With each name, I test it out with a few common phrases that typically go along with owning a dog.  Here is what I mean:

Well OK I did not come up with all of them.  Wonder woman, Kipp Jr and Squirt came up with Elvis or Presley.  Great names for sure.  Might freak out my sister in law's Mississippian neighbors though.  

"Has anybody seen my Elvis, I am looking for Elvis.  
EL-VIS! Come on home boy.  
Oh look at the time, sorry girls I have to go home and let Elvis out, he has been in the house all day.  
Elvis' doctor needs a stool sample on his next visit, I usually send one of the boys out in the yard for it." 

My first thought was for sophistication.  Winston or Winchester.  Maybe call him 'Chester' for short.  Nah.  How about something less formal.  Buddy.  "Come 'ere Buddy!"  Yea that has promise.  Kind of sweet and simple. 

Maybe Italian?  Marino.  Demo.  Shadow.  Maybe mysterious, "Hey where's Waldo?"  Maybe Irish? Donovan or Sean.  Or just for the sake of calling him home every night for dinner.  Adrian  "Aaaa-dre-ann!"

Hey, no really name him Hey.  
"Hey come here.  
Hey don't put your nose on that.  
Hey stop chewing that.  
Hey you are so sweet."  

Channel Abbot and Costello; 
What's your dogs name?  
Hey, how are you?  What is your dog's name?  
"Fine thanks.  Hey."  
Hey.  Your dog, whats its name?  
What is the dog's name?  

Thumper might be fun.  Good southern name.  It's all in the quick pronunciation Thump-PER.  "Thump-PER heel boy."  Buck would be simple.  You just could not stop short when he did something you did not like and you were shouting at him; it could lead to a misunderstanding.  Speaking of you.

My favorite might be U.  
"Hey U, come here.  
U, get over here and eat your food.  
U, go get that stick.  
U, do not do that again."  

Calling him in from the neighborhood would fun too as people are out for a walk.  "Hey U, come in here right now!"  It could be fun on Saturday's when the neighbors are doing their lawn work and the dog gets something from you.  "U, DROP THAT.  RIGHT NOW U.  I MEAN IT.  DROP IT!"  

Conversations, in the South, about U would be hilarious or dangerous.   
"U is so cute.  
Ain't no other dog like U.  
U eats poo.  
U's got fleas.  
I saw U humping the neighbor's dog the other day.  (sorry - sorry - really sorry - but I don't care who you are...that is funny)  
I saw U drinking out of the toilet again.  
Why does U like to sniff butts?"  
I had better stop.  I am having way to much fun with U.  Wait...no...I mean the name not you...never mind let's just stop.

Stop - now there is another good name.  Course the dog would be fine with it, he does not know English.  But everybody around him would be so confused.  
"Hey come here Stop.  
I said come here, Stop.  
Eat your food Stop.  
Eat Stop.  
Get some water Stop.  
Anybody seen my dog Stop?  
Sit Stop.  
Load up Stop.  

That is probably a good idea - it is late, I mean early.  I need to stop.  Hope this helps you out sis.  Look forward to hearing what you name him.



Donna Perugini said...

This is really hilarious and clever! I can actually hear this as a stand up comic act.

Seriously, it is really funny!

Kipp said...

Thanks Donna!! Caffiene is so dangerous for me. :)

CC - I do appreciate your comment, but I will save it for my eyes only.

Anonymous said...

Love it!! Hilarious!! I like .."Stop". and "U". Oh, me, they are all so fun! I Like caffeine, too....for you! Great blog...keep it up. Mary

Clipped Wings said...

Hahaha! You're great on caffeine. Loved reading this after midnight post.

Melissa Ryan said...

Naming a dog is hard work. I like hey. I am your newest follower from the best post blog hop.


Kipp said...

Clipped - it is a dangerous drug :)

Melissa - thanks for joining the rockbottom dwellers! I look forward to finding out more about 'captain destructo'.