daydreaming about a bio

I recently attended a business conference.  As one of the breakout sessions started the MC began introducing a very illustrious, educated, and well dressed speaker.  The biography was a bit lengthy with the number of Board of Director assignments, degree after degree leading up his last at Harvard and etc.  The list went on and on, even listed his work with the Boy Scouts.  As she read over it, she even stopped and said "With all this education and civic duty listed, when did you have time to work?"  He just smiled.  My question was, unless he is about to teach us how to tie a knot, will he saying anything I will understand?

Well I admit it, I liked him.  He was charismatic, fun, serious, emotional, informative, and thought provoking.  He dropped it down to a level low enough for me to understand.  He threw in quotes from his favorite philosopher often.  Aristotle seemed to a pretty smart fellow for his time.  

He nearly preached to us about his topic - Ethics.  He inspired us to to strive for integrity in our lives.  Living by a code of ethics, values, and principles mixed in with personal integrity, he suggested, will hopefully take us and others on a journey fit for a king.  Impressive as his presentation was, I still could not help to but to daydream about the biography.  What would mine sound like if I was asked to give a presentation?

"He has worked since he was 12.  He worked part time jobs (life guarding, janitorial, activities director, etc.)  to help pay for his college education.  He took more than four years to complete his degree.  He was not a member of any club, because...he was busy working.  He loves the outdoors - though he cannot tie a knot (remember no clubs, not even Boy Scouts).  He knows exactly what crow tastes like.  He is a very lucky husband ...wait, that did not sound right...he has a better wife than he deserves and two children that he adores.  He hosts a blog called 'rockbottom' and has self published an ebook under the same title.  Please welcome Kipp Bedford."

With spin:  "He has worked in fortune 500 companies during his 20+ working career.  He majored in Business Administration with minors in numerous other business schools, too many to list here.  His civic duties include the Red Cross where he saved lives life guarding, mentored many young lives, and served those in need well.  His wife is registered on the National Collegiate Who's Who's Dean's List, she was also a highly respected Trust Officer in the financial world before retiring to take care of their two adorable daughters.  Mr. Bedford is a published author with another successful book on the way.  Please welcome..."  

What it would really sound like if it ever happened: "Please join me in welcoming our guest speaker today; Skip Bradford."      
     

Yes this is you

If you have ever wondered what you look like to an Information Technology technician (IT guy) or to the Geek Squad or to your children when you purchase new technology (VCR, iPhone, flat screen TV, DVR) or it is your first day at a new job and the computer is 'different than one you had at your last job'.  Watch this video...you are represented by the person on the right.

tricky tricky white boy

I got Squirt to go with me...while I tried to find new locations to take pictures. 
She is such a good assistant photographer, so patient.  


This was my favorite :-)

"Never" is a bad word

Part I

They say you should never say "never".  Well I said it about two years ago. 

"I will never leave the country.  I do not want to travel outside the United States, it is just asking for trouble."  

Technically I had been to Canada.  But walking across the border to do a bit of shopping, in my mind, does not qualify as being "in country".  My next qualifier for out of country would be Hawaii.  Several years ago I got to visit the island on business.  Yes I understand it is one of our states, but it is not like you can get in your car and drive over for the weekend now is it?  Plus they have a rich heritage and culture that is a bit different than most of ours in the continental states.  

I should have known my comment would come back to haunt me.  After a happenstance meeting and a few discussions later, I was booked on a plane to Beijing.  Well if you are going to go, might as well go big right?   

Longest flight evar.  Detroit to Beijing was a gazillion hours long.  The food served on Devil airlines was exactly what you would imagine food microwaved to within a second of bursting into flames, in small plastic containers, prepared by people who also like to sew, that was left sitting in a larger container out on a concrete desert for a few days would taste like.  

Why do I call them "Devil" airlines?  They lie.  The only words they speak that are trustworthy is "Now boarding".  Our original flight plans were from Atlanta to Tokyo to Beijing.  This would have been cool since I have never been to Japan.  But due to "extreme mechanical issues" with the equipment the estimated 5 hour delay would have caused us to miss our connecting flight in Tokyo.  So they routed us to Detroit then to Beijing.  Cool right - at least it is a direct flight.  You can sleep on the plane right?  Devil airlines will be sure to transfer your luggage to the plane you are flying on right?  

We arrived in Beijing before the sun went down, but it sure felt like two or three days past.  The gift provided us by Devil airlines for traveling with them - no luggage.  Ever been a foreign country with no luggage?  OK then.  But have you ever been in a foreign country with no luggage during a tropical storm? Thank you it was horrible.  My traveling companions, by the time we all got our luggage, had been wearing the same clothes for 4 days.  We started our trip on Thursday morning.  We got our luggage Monday morning at 1 am.   

If I could give you people one practical piece of advice - always take a change of clothes and a travel size deodorant with you on the plane no matter where you are traveling.  I do on every trip.